**REVISED EDITION** Things Facebook has taught me about Army Wives

Hopefully if you are a regular reader of my blog (hi Mum!) you will have seen one of my first posts which was about the types of army wives on Facebook. Due to popular demand Because I have been procrastinating when i should have been doing more important things, I have decided to do a 'revised edition' of my types of army wives on Facebook list. I have included the original list for those of you who are like me and have bad memories and also for those newbies who also like me, are too lazy to scroll back through my old posts to find it.

The Debater

This wife is never far from an argument and will debate any topic.

The Overly Sensitive

Take offense to even the most tame of comments. Their Messages folder most likely is full of complaints they have sent to group administrators.

The 5 Second Army Wife

This wife has been living this lifestyle for less than 12 months and love to tell anyone who will listen that they are an Army Wife. Whether their partner has just joined up, or they have just hooked up with an already serving member, the 5 Second Army Wife can fall into 1 of 2 sub-categories:

The Totally Clueless - has trouble comprehending simple army processes and their ignorance often leads them to spout pearls of wisdom like "the army sucks" and "they are being unfair with our defacto application".

The 5 second going on 5 year wife -  they think they already know everything about being an Army Wife and are often known to dish out advice to others on topics they know nothing about.

The Passive Aggressive

This wife won't participate in debates by commenting but rather just by 'liking' other people's comments.

The Power Tripping Admin

Known for their fondness for the delete button. Views their role to be of the highest importance most likely because they are lacking same in real life.

The Look at Me

This wife is always posting about some sort of drama in her life, usually just to get some attention.

The TMI (too much information)

Guilty of giving out too much information on a range of topics from their sex life / relationships to their health issues.

The Jackpot

This is a wife who falls into 3 or more of the above categories. You know you should just ignore her but she is like a car crash - you can't help but watch!

The Golden Oldie

Like the name suggests, this wife belongs to the older generation of army wives. She usually likes to precede any post with something like "back in my day" or I'm an army bride of 25 years so..."

The Army Brat Turned Army Wife

Pretty self-explanatory. Sometimes a bit similar to the Golden Oldie in that they like to precede any post or comment with a declaration of how long they were an army brat.

The Block-a-holic

This wife will Block anyone who offends her or disagrees with her. If you don't think you know any Block-a-holics, it is probably because they have already blocked you!

The Opsec Nazi

See this blog post by a friend of mine. She explains it all brilliantly!

The Housing Hater

Recognisable by their constant complaints about their issues with DHA and the 'awful' house they are 'forced' live in. (Get excited readers, I am dedicating a whole blog post to this type of wife in the near future.)

The Negative Nancy

This type of wife often asks for advice but always shoots down any response given to her. If anyone shares a problem, you can guarantee that a Negative Nancy will argue that her problem is worse.

Comment below or on my Facebook page if you think there is any other types missing from my list!

Until next time,

C.

Where did we come from?

I was having coffee with a friend today and we got to talking about the label of “army wife”. We both agreed that while there have always been women married / partnered to men in the army, the label of army wife has really only become a common part of our vocabulary in the last few years.

It wasn’t until the 2^nd posting with my husband that I first heard the term army wife. It was the first day of a new job and as I was chatting with my new colleagues I was asked if I had made any “army wife” friends. I remember needing to take a few seconds to comprehend the question (yes, I am blonde ;-p) because I had never heard anyone called that. Nowadays, there are people who introduce themselves as an army wife before they even say their own name!! And don’t get me started on the women who call themselves an army wife before their husbands have even finished Kapooka! LOL

In all serious, I am interested to know how, when and why it became so popular. Is it another thing we can blame on the Gen Y generation? Or is it society in general that likes labels? Or is it simply because we are all addicted to the TV show ‘Army Wives’? (And before I get any hate mail from the Gen Y’ers – I’m still in my 20’s and as much as I sometimes hate to admit it, I’m apart of Generation Y too!)

So please let me know your thoughts either by commenting below or by clicking here to leave a comment on my Facebook page. I’m really interested to hear what you all think!!

Until next time,

C.

You've got a friend in me

Well it has been a while since my last post. I have been busy having somewhat of a social life which is a nice change from just being busy with housework!

We are now pretty much settled into our new location and I am making some great friends. I love finally getting to meet people that I have previously only been 'Facebook friends' with. It has got me thinking about how we choose the people to form friendships with. I have a few army wife friends that I love to pieces but to be quite honest, if our husbands had different jobs and we had met in different circumstances, I doubt whether we would have become friends. It's amazing how 2 people can have nothing in common except for the fact that their husbands are both in the army and yet can form such a close friendship! This also makes me feel a little guilty. Have I missed out on some great friendships because I have been shallow or because I have judged someone without getting to know them?

So I know it is a bit late for New Years Resolutions but I'm going to make one any way. I am going to try my best to be less judgmental and be open to making friends outside my usual 'type'.

So look out ladies, I'm coming for your friendship!! And to my current army wife friends - love ya guts bitches!

Until next time,

C.

You must be this crazy to enter

I have often wondered what would happen if defence spouses had to pass a psychological evaluation in order to be recognised as an official defence spouse. How many of us would pass? One thing I know for certain is that there are a few that would be committed straight away!

Now I do have a few army wife friends who are crazy. But these are the women who are crazy as in fun, spontaneous and with a wicked sense of humour. That is a good crazy. But unfortunately I am beginning to frequently encounter the other type of crazy – the bad crazy. And they are no fun at all. Sure it may be fun to laugh at them, but just get to close because their toxic crazy has been known to spread throughout a whole group of people! I can just imagine psych interviews with bad-crazy defence spouses going like this:

Interviewer: “So do you think you get along with most people?”

Crazy Defence Spouse 1: “Yes I have lots of Facebook friends. But if you have a different opinion to mine I will launch into an incoherent rambling argument with you and then block you. I will then block every other person who may have once had a passing conversation with you.”

Interviewer: “Can you tell me how you would feel about your husband being deployed for a long period of time?”

Crazy Defence Spouse 2: “No, I can’t because then I would be in breach of OPSEC.”

Interviewer: “Well this is just a question about a hypothetical deployment.”

Crazy Defence Spouse 2: “You said deployment. Now Defence is breaching OPSEC. OPSEC. OPSEC!!!”

Interviewer: Do you think you will have enough support for your family while your husband is in the Defence Force?

Crazy Defence Spouse 3:  “Well we have chosen to be non-breeders therefore we will not being having children. I don’t think Defence should have to provide more support to families just because they have chosen to be breeders. We are non-breeders but we know everything there is to know about raising children.”

Interviewer: “Do you think you will be able to handle running a household and making important decisions on your own while your husband is away?”

Crazy Defence Spouse 4: “As long as I have Facebook, I’ll be fine. Like, when we were trying to decide when to have children, I just asked hundreds of strangers on a Facebook group to take a vote on when I should start having kids. Takes all the pressure off!

I think in this lifestyle, it actually helps to have a teeny tiny bit of crazy inside of us. So I really hope they never bring in psych evaluations for spouses – because I think some people would have men in white jackets with huge butterfly nets, pounding on their door :-P

Until next time,

C.

It's a small world after all...

If you have read my previous post about Facebook you will know that I am unashamedly an addict. I love being able to chat with friends and family and I am totally addicted to the Defence support groups/pages. One of the best things to come from those pages is the awesome friends I have made. We have just arrived in a new city and before we even got here I had already met new people through Facebook (and I am looking forward to meeting them all ‘in real life’ very soon).

But unfortunately there are a few wives out there who are not making many ‘Facebook friends’. I know I’ve probably said this before and I’m sure I’ll say it again in the future – the Defence Community is very small. If you are continually picking fights and making bitchy comments you are going to get a reputation. Women are a gossipy bunch and it only takes a ‘cut & paste’ here and a quick ‘screen dump’ there and things can spread like wildfire. It’s not just bitchiness that will get you a reputation. Repeated behavior like that from my little list of Types of Army Wives on Facebook can also get you known for all the wrong reasons. For example, there are probably not many of you who haven’t heard about a certain woman whose rise to infamy came in the second half of last year after she became Admin of a certain group (which was already well known due to the previous Admin’s antics). I am not going to detail all her craziness but let’s just say she didn’t win many fans and her name is now pretty well known (even if she has tried to change it a few times!).

Now I’m not saying that everyone should get along and that we should all just agree each others opinions. That would be boring. I would just like to remind us all that outside of these Defence support groups there is a very real world. And you are not going to make it easy for yourself when it comes to meeting new people if your online ‘alter-ego’ has a bad reputation. Just think of how much trouble my above example is going to have when she meets new people! This lifestyle can be tough sometimes so we need all the friends we can get!

So I’ll get off my soapbox now and leave it at that :-P

Until next time,

C.

UPDATE: It has come to my attention that some people are incorrectly guessing who my 'example' may be. Because I don't want any innocent parties to get hurt, I'll just say that the person I am talking about is based in Brisbane and that is the only other info I'll give out at the moment.

Are we there yet?

I used to love road trips. I was quite happy to sit in the car for hours on end, eat crappy food from dodgy servos and sing along to the radio at the top of my lungs. Sadly, the things I used to love about road trips are now the reasons why I dread traveling long distances in the car. And those of you who have traveled with kids will understand why.

Now, instead of listening to the radio, I am listening to Master 4 sing along to 'Champagne Showers' with his headphones on and Master 2 saying "Mummy?" every few seconds followed by some unintelligible question or comment to which I can only respond with "mmmm yes." Then in between those sounds I have my husband asking me to clean his sunglasses or pass him a drink.

Suitable snacks for a road trip are now an issue. Gone are the days of quickly grabbing a chicko roll and jumping back in the car. Now we have to stop somewhere with suitable food and appropriate baby changing facilities. And there is no such thing as a quick pit stop with young kids. Just getting them out of the car is an ordeal. Someone always manages to have lost at least one of their shoes since getting in (I honestly don't know how that happens!) and you have to make sure you take in enough nappies/wipes/bottles etc. It becomes a major operation!

Now instead of sitting back and enjoying the scenery, I am breaking up fights, twisting my body in abnormal directions to pick up dropped toys and trying to determine whether the sounds/smells coming from Miss 8 months' nappy is just wind or a number 2. So is it any wonder that I am the one who ends up asking "are we there yet?"

Until next time,

C.

Deployment Survival Guide

If you have been following my blog so far, you will know that my other half has recently returned from a deployment. It has been very busy since he got back with Christmas and New Years and our upcoming move, but last night I finally had a few minutes to myself to relax and pat myself on the back for 'surviving' another deployment. As I sat there, I thought about the things that helped keep me (somewhat) sane during the last 7 months and decided that I would attempt to write them all down in some sort of intelligible list. And this is what I have come up with - my Deployment Survival Guide!

1. Always have a good supply of chocolate and wine at home and it is perfectly ok if that is all you have for dinner some nights. Except if you have children. Probably best not to feed them chocolate and wine for dinner.
2. You will need plenty of patience but not just to wait for your other half to return home. You will need it when dealing with the dozens of civies you are bound to encounter who will say things like "I don't know how you do it" and "my husband couldn't stand to be away from us for that long". And after you have heard it a hundred times you will need patience (and self control) to not give them a high five. To the face.
3. Guilty pleasures are essential. Whether it be watching a Gossip Girl marathon, getting a massage or eating a batch of uncooked cookie dough, it is great treat yourself every now and then.
4. Get familiar with the locations of all the post offices in your city. Because once you've lined up with 3 cranky, impatient and tantrum-throwing kids, all while trying to juggle the parcels you are trying to send, you will be so embarrassed by your children's behaviour (and your subsequent angry tirade at them) that you won't want to show your face in the same post office twice.
5. A good (and by good I mean slightly crazy) sense of humor is a must. There are times when your car has broken down in the rain or you have been vomited on for the 3rd time in one night, and all you can do is laugh. You know that one day in the future it will be a funny story, so what not make it funny now?
6. It is great to have a friend whose shoulder you can cry on. It is even better to have a friend who will tell you to "dry your eyes princess" and "harden up love" when you have spent a couple of days being a sooky-la-la and won't get out of your pajamas.
7. Remind yourself of this daily - YOU ARE NOT THE FIRST ARMY WIFE TO EXPERIENCE A DEPLOYMENT! Thousands of strong women have gone before you, a lot of which only had letters as a way of communicating with their loved one. In this age of skype and email etc, we have it pretty good.

So that is how I manage to stay sane (although those close to me might debate that!) during deployments. I sometimes wish I could travel back in time and pass on these tips to my younger self before my husband's first deployment. But I think if you would have told me back then that by 2012 I would have 3 kids under 5, I probably would have died of shock!

Sharing is caring ladies so please feel free to add your survival tips in the comments section!

Until next time,

C.