Saturday, 9 May 2015

Where are the kangaroos at?

So, here I am quietly minding my own business in some online defence wife communities, laughing away at some of the crap people post, when I come across a link to another Army wife blog. The link was followed by much outrage, and a couple of hundred or so comments. Now I could have just read the comments to get a good idea of what it was all about and become equally as outraged as everyone else, however, not one to follow the crowd blindly, I decided to have a read myself.

What I found was nothing short of astounding! The blog is written by an American Army wife, whose husband chose to join the Australian Army through the Lateral Transfer program (nothing spectacular so far) and this poor dear is not loving life since arriving in our great land, and she is pretty outspoken about it (also not astonishing, given she is American and they don't tend to be backwards in coming forward).

And in this case, they have a blog!

This delightful darling claims she was given the wrong end of the stick prior to coming to Australia with her family, it seems she was lied to about Australia and what to expect. I will admit, there were moments throughout her almost illegible ramblings where I felt a little sorry for her (until I reminded myself that as backwards I think the U.S. is at times, they do have Google, which she could have used to do her own research).  Now even if what she says is true, and representatives of the ADF exaggerated the truth to her family to get them over here or that mistakes have been made with her husband’s pay, what comes next is inexcusable.

Instead of blaming the people who she perceives have wronged her, she goes on to attack our entire country, our people, our government and our Defence force, all while (inserting sarcasm), which I can only assume is something ignorant self important idiots need to do to signify when they are being a little tongue in cheek, she throws around apparent insults like 'Australia are nothing like the US and never will be!' and 'your Army is nothing like the Marines'. Can I just speak on behalf of the entire country right now and say we cannot be more grateful that we will never be like the US!

She complains about our food, she complains about the other wives and complains about having to celebrate Christmas in summer (laughing too much – getting harder to breathe). She goes on to complain about her husbands command (and even names her husband’s unit!) and how ‘unprofessional’ the ADF is. She complains about how that she, as a wife, doesn't get the respect she deserves (I am genuinely struggling for breath now!) and she complains about the lack of freebies she is given in Australia (oh god! I think I just peed), including our lack of free entry to Disneyland (wait – we have a Disneyland here?). She complains about how Australia really isn't anything special and has complained that she has not yet seen a single kangaroo yet. I can only conclude that instead of getting out and exploring she been blogging away about how awful Australia is and has spent too much time trying to work out how to convert pounds to kilometres (just for the record mate, that isn't possible). She complains about not being welcomed with open arms, although according to many who tried to befriend her, her negativity acted like a force field and repelled any would be friends away. 

I couldn’t be bothered listing any more of her complaints so if you would like to read more, like about how she thinks DHA should be mowing her lawns, you will have to go read her blog. (Word of warning - she edits her old posts regularly so if you think something has changed, it's not your imagination. For someone who 'won't be silenced by the ADF' she sure does delete a lot!)

One of the things on her blog that tickles my funny bone the most is how she thinks her husband is here to ‘save the ADF’ and that the ADF NEEDS his skills. Oh my poor little possum, you can think that all you like but in reality the lateral transfer scheme is as much a budgetary issue as it is anything else. To put it simply, it is far cheaper for the ADF to ‘buy off the shelf’ than it is to ‘make your own’ and train up a solider from scratch. But I understand how it would be so much nicer to think that your husband is here to teach all these poor little disadvantaged Aussies how it’s done.

I also get a good laugh when she complains Australia’s lack of free healthcare. That’s right – an American is complaining about Australia’s free healthcare system. I…just…can’t…even…


What gets me the most, is that she just cannot see what she has done wrong. She sees her bullshit blog as her right (you know, freedom of speech UScentric, I can say what I like because you all want to be like us attitude), but what she doesn't see is that she could have said what she wanted to say, and made her point without offending an entire country. She should be embarrassed! I know I am embarrassed for her, I embarrassed for her ignorance, I am embarrassed for her country and I am embarrassed for all other Army wives to think that we have idiots like this within our midst.

Now I'm going to use something I read today, and I have been granted permission to use, because... well I couldn't put it more eloquently if I tried.
"I for one am happy she doesn't like it here. Go the f@$k home, and PLEASE continue to discourage your other ignorant dickhead mates (which by the look of her Facebook page, are many ) from coming here, we don't want you, you pack of wankers.  If you want to come to Australia, come here with an open mind, an open heart and a sense of adventure. Leave your self importance at the last international airport you were at and see the opportunity that awaits you. Those are the people we accept with open arms. We can learn as much from you as you can from us, but not how we can be like you, we don't want to be like you, and we don't want you to be like us (although you have much to learn about not taking yourself so f$@king seriously).  She has missed an opportunity to open her mind to a different way of living, and enriching the lives of her and her family. It's a shame she doesn't see it that way, but we who love and are proud of our country and hold sacred our way of life will happily drop her at the f$@king airport and throw beer cans at her as she departs".

Now before the Harry high pants tree loving do-gooders jump up and down, nobody is telling her not to have an opinion, we all have the right to one, but maybe have some respect for the country you are living in, like we would if we were in yours, and try not to offend the lot of us with your complete self-centred ignorance.

Until next time,

C (and my awesome collaborators)