Saturday, 9 May 2015

Where are the kangaroos at?

So, here I am quietly minding my own business in some online defence wife communities, laughing away at some of the crap people post, when I come across a link to another Army wife blog. The link was followed by much outrage, and a couple of hundred or so comments. Now I could have just read the comments to get a good idea of what it was all about and become equally as outraged as everyone else, however, not one to follow the crowd blindly, I decided to have a read myself.

What I found was nothing short of astounding! The blog is written by an American Army wife, whose husband chose to join the Australian Army through the Lateral Transfer program (nothing spectacular so far) and this poor dear is not loving life since arriving in our great land, and she is pretty outspoken about it (also not astonishing, given she is American and they don't tend to be backwards in coming forward).

And in this case, they have a blog!

This delightful darling claims she was given the wrong end of the stick prior to coming to Australia with her family, it seems she was lied to about Australia and what to expect. I will admit, there were moments throughout her almost illegible ramblings where I felt a little sorry for her (until I reminded myself that as backwards I think the U.S. is at times, they do have Google, which she could have used to do her own research).  Now even if what she says is true, and representatives of the ADF exaggerated the truth to her family to get them over here or that mistakes have been made with her husband’s pay, what comes next is inexcusable.

Instead of blaming the people who she perceives have wronged her, she goes on to attack our entire country, our people, our government and our Defence force, all while (inserting sarcasm), which I can only assume is something ignorant self important idiots need to do to signify when they are being a little tongue in cheek, she throws around apparent insults like 'Australia are nothing like the US and never will be!' and 'your Army is nothing like the Marines'. Can I just speak on behalf of the entire country right now and say we cannot be more grateful that we will never be like the US!

She complains about our food, she complains about the other wives and complains about having to celebrate Christmas in summer (laughing too much – getting harder to breathe). She goes on to complain about her husbands command (and even names her husband’s unit!) and how ‘unprofessional’ the ADF is. She complains about how that she, as a wife, doesn't get the respect she deserves (I am genuinely struggling for breath now!) and she complains about the lack of freebies she is given in Australia (oh god! I think I just peed), including our lack of free entry to Disneyland (wait – we have a Disneyland here?). She complains about how Australia really isn't anything special and has complained that she has not yet seen a single kangaroo yet. I can only conclude that instead of getting out and exploring she been blogging away about how awful Australia is and has spent too much time trying to work out how to convert pounds to kilometres (just for the record mate, that isn't possible). She complains about not being welcomed with open arms, although according to many who tried to befriend her, her negativity acted like a force field and repelled any would be friends away. 

I couldn’t be bothered listing any more of her complaints so if you would like to read more, like about how she thinks DHA should be mowing her lawns, you will have to go read her blog. (Word of warning - she edits her old posts regularly so if you think something has changed, it's not your imagination. For someone who 'won't be silenced by the ADF' she sure does delete a lot!)

One of the things on her blog that tickles my funny bone the most is how she thinks her husband is here to ‘save the ADF’ and that the ADF NEEDS his skills. Oh my poor little possum, you can think that all you like but in reality the lateral transfer scheme is as much a budgetary issue as it is anything else. To put it simply, it is far cheaper for the ADF to ‘buy off the shelf’ than it is to ‘make your own’ and train up a solider from scratch. But I understand how it would be so much nicer to think that your husband is here to teach all these poor little disadvantaged Aussies how it’s done.

I also get a good laugh when she complains Australia’s lack of free healthcare. That’s right – an American is complaining about Australia’s free healthcare system. I…just…can’t…even…


What gets me the most, is that she just cannot see what she has done wrong. She sees her bullshit blog as her right (you know, freedom of speech UScentric, I can say what I like because you all want to be like us attitude), but what she doesn't see is that she could have said what she wanted to say, and made her point without offending an entire country. She should be embarrassed! I know I am embarrassed for her, I embarrassed for her ignorance, I am embarrassed for her country and I am embarrassed for all other Army wives to think that we have idiots like this within our midst.

Now I'm going to use something I read today, and I have been granted permission to use, because... well I couldn't put it more eloquently if I tried.
"I for one am happy she doesn't like it here. Go the f@$k home, and PLEASE continue to discourage your other ignorant dickhead mates (which by the look of her Facebook page, are many ) from coming here, we don't want you, you pack of wankers.  If you want to come to Australia, come here with an open mind, an open heart and a sense of adventure. Leave your self importance at the last international airport you were at and see the opportunity that awaits you. Those are the people we accept with open arms. We can learn as much from you as you can from us, but not how we can be like you, we don't want to be like you, and we don't want you to be like us (although you have much to learn about not taking yourself so f$@king seriously).  She has missed an opportunity to open her mind to a different way of living, and enriching the lives of her and her family. It's a shame she doesn't see it that way, but we who love and are proud of our country and hold sacred our way of life will happily drop her at the f$@king airport and throw beer cans at her as she departs".

Now before the Harry high pants tree loving do-gooders jump up and down, nobody is telling her not to have an opinion, we all have the right to one, but maybe have some respect for the country you are living in, like we would if we were in yours, and try not to offend the lot of us with your complete self-centred ignorance.

Until next time,

C (and my awesome collaborators)


  1. OMG. I'm crying. After having read her blog from the beginning, I thank you for your amusing and absolutely accurate rebuttal. I applaud you.

  2. Brilliant, after reading her ramblings in amazement normality has been restored!

  3. I wonder what got up her nose today. Is she really so naïve to think that putting "her personal opinions" on a public forum that she's not going to get crumped by those who have been insulted by her comments. She has had a very personal dig at people close to me, and trust me, they are not happy. Thank you for your response to her ramblings. Maybe she will see that she has done her husband absolutely no favours at all and he has zero respect from anyone he works with.

  4. As there is no way to post comments on her blog, (not that she’d publish them anyway), I hope you don’t mind if I address a couple of points in your forum. I’ll probably get in trouble for the cut and paste job that I have done, but it saved me the time on re-writing it all.

    “After seeing a few posts sent to me by friends, I though what the heck I know the true answers to some accusations being flung around. I though why not enlighten those who have graciously made note of a few things and give them the correct input!”
    So let’s not let the truth get in the way of a good story, just saying.

    “As for my husbands career being effected by my actions, oh my poor, poor ladies and gentlemen, let me reassure anyone that he has and will always dictate his career and as many here like to think a wife has that much power and can dictate their husbands career I will be the first to say, not happening. Yes I have been opinionated and strong-willed our whole marriage and yes he has gotten promoted on this thing called skill and experience!!”
    Her husband was a CW2 (Chief Warrant Officer 2) which has no equivalent rank in Australia. He was given a rank of CAPT because in Australia officers fly the aircraft. This “promotion” is afforded to all laterals that transfer to the ADF unless they already hold officer rank.

    “My husband had to go to the United States for the ADF and do some training on one of our many U.S. bases, and had to do this because the ADF did not have the facilities here in Australia!”
    And he still hasn’t been able to meet the Australian flying standards and is now not flying. Many other countries around the world use the American simulators as it is overall cheaper to do so. Just sayin’ but Australia now has its own simulator for the newly purchased aircraft so there will be no need to send them overseas.

    “My favorite fact of all time right now is very soon a team of American aviators/instructors will be arriving in order to teach the Australian Aviation Corps to fly a new aircraft, as well those same aircraft are bought from the United Sates Army!!”
    The aircraft are not bought from the United States Army, they are bought from BOEING who manufacture them in the US. BOEING instructor contractors, not American Army instructors are coming to instruct on the new aircraft which is all part of the contract with the manufacturers.

    "Don’t need the United States and their people? Think again, as well make note who is buying what from the U.S. and is now dictated by the United States in certain airframes!" Well probably only for the purchase of aircraft from the manufacturers and the training they provide within the terms of the contract. I would only be guessing that in future the lateral recruiters would be upping their game and doing better and more in depth background checks on applicants wishing to join the ADF.

    1. Go for it! Comment as much as you like!

    2. It is just so sad that some people have to live their lives as an appendage to their partners military career and find it so very difficult to assimilate into a civilian community. Most defence partners in Australia are very independent and live their own lives as professionals with their own careers. We are a patriotic lot but are comfortable not having to express it as our way of life. Australian bases do have flag raising and lowering protocols where those in uniform salute and those in civilian attire stand fast.

  5. OMG senior aviator my ass! I don't know what the flying standards are like in the good old U.S of A, but he didn't manage to pass Australian army flying standards. Can't even fly the aircraft he was recruited to fly. GROUNDED is all I can say about that!

  6. So how was the dinner Friday night. That's right, you didn't go because your husband isn't a pilot in the ADF. (not that anyone believes he was a pilot in the first place. Where's the log books and records of service. Still can't fly that Chinook straight and level. Guess the ADF was lied to as well!) Heaps of Americans at the dinner all having a wonderful time.
    Maybe it's good your husband is pulling the pin before he was asked to leave. Good bye and good riddance.
    I guess the recruiting process will be tightened up so as not to let another family like yours into the ADF.
    You thought it was like the American Military. Thought you were getting a FREE ride. It's not over yet sunshine!!!
    By the way, I need to remain anonymous to protect my sources. You know how that is, right.

  7. Right back at ya, baby. Although I didn't have to did too deep. Maybe this is why some Laterals love coming here.

    And I could keep going all day but I have better things to do than surf the web looking for mud to sling.

    Good luck with that

  8. So what happened. He arrives in Australia and forgets how to fly? Failing both flight and theory training. Even 3 weeks of training back in the U.S.A. Couldn't help. What did that cost the Australian taxpayers, about $40 000.

  9. Just be careful what you say. There are plenty of us who know the actual truth and not the ignorant ravings of a woman who is only told what she wants to hear by an emasculated husband. You haven't left the country yet.

  10. OK People. Get the beer cans They are leaving the country on the 10th Jul. About bloody time.

  11. So Pickerings have found your car. By the way they have nothing to do with it but they have contacted the leasing company so they will be sending the debt collectors. They will find you as they have your social security number.

    1. That sounds like an interesting story! Please share!

  12. Well, I don’t know if you recall (as she has deleted the actual beginnings of her blog from late last year) but she did mention that she had very poor service from the people when they went to pick up their car from Pickerings. Well the poor service was due to the fact that the poor girl from Pickerings was subjected to a tirade of verbal abuse from Pilotsgrl. So much so that Pickerings made a complaint to the unit. Never before has the unit had to write a formal apology for the behaviour of one of its members/spouse.

    So why the talk about Pickerings? Well Pilot and his Girl leased a car through Smart Salary and Smart Salary arranged for the car to be picked up from Pickerings car yard. So when our dear friends (insert sarcasm….lol) left Townsville last Saturday to fly back to the mighty U.S of A, they left the car outside of Pickerings. No phone call to the leasing company that they were leaving the country and breaking the lease. Well to break the lease would have cost them about $40,000, give or take a few thousand. Talk about sticking your head in the sand and hoping it would all go away. The guys from Pickerings notice that the car has been sitting outside for a few days and traced the rego number and then informed the leasing company.

    So next thing, the unit gets a phone call from the leasing company regarding our super soldier (more sarcasm) and are told that he resigned from the ADF as of midnight Friday and flew back home on Saturday. So the leasing company aren’t very happy but say it’s not the first time they’ve had people dump cars. They are insured for just such an occurrence and the insurance company will recover the debt and that they do go international. So the leasing company hands over all the information they have to the insurance company which happens to include the Social Security number. And we all know that you can’t fart in ‘Merica without quoting your SS number. They didn’t leave a forwarding address with the unit but they will be found eventually.

    1. Oh that is gold! Sounds like you would have some more good stories about them.

    2. Lets just say it's a work in progress......

  13. OMG. I can’t hold back any longer. You Jeremy lied about a good many things. When the unit asked you to produce copies of your flying logs and records of service your response was “Oh, they must have been lost by the recruiters”, who in hell doesn’t keep copies of all that shit.

    Failure to pass the basic fitness test due to an undisclosed injury/medical condition.
    Failure to apply for Australian citizenship as per your conditions of service. Yes, a phone call to the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade confirmed that you lied when saying that you had applied.

    Having “so much experience flying the airframe” and still couldn’t fly it straight and level at 60 knots. It’s exactly the same airframe that the American military flies. What, did you want to come here and re-learn how to fly from scratch. Of course there would be differences in the manoeuvres and airspace in Australia, you were flying in AUSTRALIA. Other laterals managed to get out the manuals, which can be accessed on the computers in the unit and learn how to do it. We don’t need to lead our officers by the nose and show them every little detail. I guess we have the expectation that our Officers show a little initiative and source the information for themselves. But you’re not a real officer, are you.

    One good thing that has come out of your experience is that recruiting have tightened right up on the recruitment of pilots. Anyone with the rank of CW isn’t even being considered. Interviewing is being restructured with senior aviators being involved so that there isn’t another train wreck of a family being recruited.

  14. Continued:-

    There’s another thing I’ve been dying to get off my chest. Don’t you dare blame your child’s regression on the Australian military when you point blank refused to have your child recognised by DCO as having special needs, so as far as the military was concerned, you didn’t have a child with special needs. Was he even under the care of a paediatrician who would have assessed his needs and referred you to specialist services, of which there are a great many as I myself have a child with special needs. So for 10 months you basically neglected your child’s health because we don’t have a system like your beloved Tricare and therefore you would have had to pay for his therapy. Also, there is no way the recruiters would have told you that defence families are covered by the Australian military. It just wouldn’t happen!

    With regard to your contract, you signed it. If you had had any queries about sections being left blank, why did you sign it? I’m sure any reasonable person would have asked for clarification.

    You dodged a bullet by not having to pay ROSO, I guess that the government just wanted to cut its losses after realizing they had invested so much money, time and effort in a dud, and get you out of the country ASAP. How could they justify throwing good money after bad by paying you to come to work and do absolutely nothing. You state that you were disappointed, how the hell do you think we felt. You couldn’t even get a security clearance without your citizenship.

    And to then go and yet again blame defence for your “messed up move” back to the States when you demanded to be moved on July 11th , which by the way was the last weekend of the school holidays so you were very lucky to get flights then anyway, the system had to wait for your discharge signal before anything could be booked, and then Defence was only required to move you to your port of entry which was Brisbane, all other flights were up to you. It’s not defence’s fault if you couldn’t afford to stay overnight in a hotel. How was it flying back economy class, not like the business class flights defence paid for you to come out here. Yes, that’s right, BUSINESS CLASS, and she had the audacity to complain about that too.

    Don’t think your exploits in Australia won’t follow you back to “Merica. The military aviation fraternity is quite small. There are many members who have served with and for the American military from all ranks who still have regular contact with their mates. Even the American contractors from BOEING were overheard to have asked what the hell were you thinking employing him!!

    So has Smart Salary or their debt collectors caught up with you yet to recover that $40,000+ debt. How about the banks with your maxed out credit cards. It’s really shit to have a bad credit rating!

    So you stand by everything your Dependa wife wrote in her poisoned pen blog. No wonder no-one was willing to help you, and those who were soon lost interest after being called a bunch of assholes, was she just expressing your opinion?. Way to go on winning friends and influencing people!!!

    Anyway your gone now, and really in the long run, who's lives have really been affected. Not mine that's for sure. You're now just a blip on an ever expanding radar.

    So OK peeps, they kept us entertained for a few months, now lets just leave them alone to get back to their fantasy Disney lives where all the greatest cultural experiences can be found. Heaven forbid they actually visit a country where English is a second language. Sayonara

  15. Awesome write up. I'm a lateral but not from that corner of the world. We have embraced our new home and its people up to the point that we feel part of Australia ...... but reading her blog has always sent shivers down my spine and nearly making me feel awful ..... being a lateral myself.

  16. Hi Admin, unfortunately pictures don't seem to upload to the comments section. I thought this was cute seeing as how she's admitted to being in it for the And also good to see some new blood commenting here. Welcome :)