I'm baaaack!

HELLO EVERYONE!!! Just dusting off the cobwebs off my keyboard so I can get back to blogging. Have you missed me??

I relly lik bloggging n like I am adickted to facebook as yuo no Butt wat i carnt stand are bad grammer and speelling.

Oops sorry, stupid autocorrect!

Arrrrgh!!! That drives me nuts! I am totally bemused as to how people can make it into adulthood without being able to sling together a sentence using correct spelling, grammar and punctuation. Of course everyone makes mistakes from time to time, but there are a few people whose every comment/post on Facebook is barely understandable. And what is even more funny is that some of these seemingly illiterate women claim to run business and have multiple trade qualifications under their belt.

I don't know what is more embarrassing though, the fact that they are adults who have the literacy skills of a 10 year old, or that when pulled up on their mistakes, they blame autocorrect.

That's it for me tonight. Just a short and (not so) sweet post to vent about one of my pet hates.

Until next time,

C.

P.S. Now even though I proof read this post about a thousand times, I'm sure someone will find a spelling, grammar and or punctuation error and then rage on about my hypocrisy :-P

Murphy's Law

Sorry it's been a while since my last blog. I confess I have been too busy laughing at nut jobs who think that there are Defence personnel out there who would be concerned about army wives squabbling on Facebook.

Lol.

So before I get the giggles again I am going to rant about some dude named Murphy and his stupid freaking law. 

I live a fairly normal, drama free life. That is until my husband is away. Whether he is deployed, out bush or on a course, as soon as he leaves, old Murphy* and his law drop in and bring with them plenty of chaos. "What's that?" he says, "Your kids have been healthy all year? Well time for a bout of explosive diarrhea and projectile vomiting! You didn't really like those curtains anyway did you?". Okay so the kids are sick and I'm on my own. No problems. I've done this before! Sleep is overrated anyway. I'm just happy our brand new car is reliable and I won't have any issues driving them to the doctor. "Wrong!" exclaims Murphy. "What you really want is a computer glitch so your car won't start!" And just when you think everything is humming along nicely... you hear Murphy shout "Someone has skimmed your credit card and the bank has cancelled it. BOOM!" Okay great. It will only take 3 days till I have access to my own money again :-/

After what seems like an eternity, hubby arrives home and Murphy and his law mysteriously vanish. Ah...how's the serenity? No sickness, no problems and everything runs smoothly.

Bugger. But now hubby is annoying me and I'm secretly looking forward to that next bush trip. Hopefully I will make it through without having Murphy pay us a visit.

Until next time,

C.

*Please note that in my mind, Murphy sounds like the prize announcer on the Price is Right so to get the full effect of this post, that is how you should read this :-P

True Colours

So I have tried to refrain from rehashing all the drama from Facebook groups in my last couple of posts but I can't hold back any longer!

A while ago I wrote a post about how some women had these super bitchy and tough online alter egos when in real life they were demure and quiet. (if you want to read said post you can do so here!) Over the past 6 months or so there have been a few women on my radar who are the complete opposite of this. They are all sunshine and rainbows in some groups and then in others they are completely arseholic! I love seeing a good debate in groups but it really grinds my gears when random people jump into a conversation and start attacking people when it is quite clear to everyone else reading it that they obviously did not know the background story. I was surprised to see 2 people who have a totally different persona on other groups, straight out attack peoples' characters and looks! 

But I think it is the 'victims' of these bi-polar arsehats who are having the last laugh. While everyone is out enjoying their long weekend, the arsehats are apparently spending their time sitting around having coffee and talking about you and how much better they are. (And yes, I see the irony, here I am blogging about such arsehats on my long weekend lol!)

Until next time,

C.

Location, location, location!

When the topic of different posting locations comes up I am always amused by the passionate discussions that can arise. I find it quite funny that people can have such varying opinions of the one location.

Some of the most commonly complained about locations, and their so-called 'problems' are:
Singleton - boring hell hole.
Darwin - backwards place with no good shopping.
Brisbane - full of bitchy, cliquey wives.
Puckapunyal - a very small community where you can't fart without everyone knowing about it.

Now these are not my opinions of those locations, it is just what I have heard. Although my husband was posted to one of those locations and from my experience there, I tend to somewhat agree with it's 'reputation' [cough Brisbane cough]. But in saying that, I wouldn't necessarily go around telling everyone that it was awful. I actually enjoyed our time there. And that was a while ago now so most of those 'bitches' have probably moved on and are now terrorising another location lol.

One tip for you all - if you know that a particular person hated a certain location, DO NOT ask them for advice on schools, suburbs etc! Their tainted view of the place often leads to inaccurate information. I have actually corrected someone when they were saying that X suburb was soooooo far away from Y base when in reality it was a short trip.

I also really hate it when you hear someone using their location as an excuse for their problems. Grrr I just want to shake these people sometimes! Living in a particular location does not automatically make you a psycho woman! You obviously have some issues that need to be dealt with but do not blame the community around you. Sorry. Bit of a random vent there. I'll get back to my point :-)

I guess what I am trying to say is, don't take all these opinions as gospel. I was a bit worried about coming to my current location but now that I am here I am LOVING IT!!  And any place is only going to be as good as you make it. So if you put the effort in to get out and make friends and get to know your area, chances are you will have fun in Singleton, or find a great shoe shop in Darwin, or make some great friends in Brisbane and maybe .... umm... learn to fart silently in Pucka :-P

Until next time,

C.

Mums the word

Mothers Day. A day of blissful relaxation, breakfast in bed and maybe some new slippers right? Ummm... no. For most of us, Mother's Day is often just another 'special day' that our husbands are away for. Or if your other half is like mine, he has probably forgotten it anyway. But as you know, I'm not into taking the Pity Train to Woe-Is-Me-Town so instead I have decided that I am going to use Mother's Day to celebrate the fact that I have made it through another year without selling my kids on eBay and to reminisce on some of my Mother of the Year moments for the past 12 months.

Mother of the Year moment #1
I took my son to school on a Public Holiday. Lucky I noticed the lack of people when we got there so I turned around and brought him home.

Mother of the Year moment #2
I fed my fussy child Weetbix for breakfast, lunch & dinner because I just couldn't be bothered arguing with him that day.

Mother of the Year moment #3
Asked my son to go and get the mail and then proceeded to start closing the garage door because it makes me laugh when I watch him scramble to get the mail and then try to run back inside before the door shuts. (OK, I must admit that I still do that regularly because it's just too funny and he just never learns!).

I'd love to hear all of your Mother of the Year moments (so I don't feel alone in the failure category lol).

Happy Mothers Day!

Until next time,
C.

Pretty please...

Morning all! No ranting from me today. Instead, I have a request.

I often see comments about my latest blog post on Facebook groups but I am can't really respond without giving up my identity so I would love it if you could give me feedback either via the comments section on my actual blog or via my Facebook page (click here to 'Like' my page if you haven't already). If you comment via my actual blog can stay anonymous if you wish, which is only fair seeing how I am choosing to do the same.

I love getting feedback (both positive & NEGATIVE) so please, lay it on me! Give me all you've got!

Until next time,

C.

Like sands through the hour glass... these are the days of our lives

I don't even know what to say after the events of the last few days. For those of you who have chosen not to participate in the 'Cage Fight' Facebook group, let me give you a quick recap... (names have been changed so I don't get hate mail to protect privacy.)

Jane is pregnant and posts in the group that she is going into labour early. Jane texts her friend Sally and asks her to let the group know she has given birth to a baby girl and said baby is in NICU. Sally, along with other members of the group offer their support and well wishes to Jane and her baby girl. Fast forward a week or so and it is discovered that Jane has lied about giving birth to baby girl. She has in fact given birth to a boy over a week later than she had originally said. All hell breaks loose when Sally and the rest of the group find out they were lied to.

So that is what happened. No, I'm not joking. If I could make up stories that good I would be a millionaire Hollywood scriptwriter instead of sitting here on my couch writing this little blog lol. What was even more entertaining was the flood of comments that followed. No doubt about it, as a moth is drawn to a flame, so are army wives drawn to drama. I have to admit that for the first few hours I found all the craziness pretty amusing. But after a while I started to fee sorry for the people like Sally who had put themselves out there and built a Facebook friendship with Jane. I'm sure that because of this incident they are forever going to be very guarded and possibly find it hard to connect with other wives online for fear of being fooled again. My advice to Sally and others is this - don't let this woman's obvious issues stop you from creating some beautiful and lasting friendships with some non-crazy women!!

Well that is it for me. I'm off to pitch my latest script idea to my Hollywood agent.

Until next time,

C.

Mail Call!

If I could write a letter to some of the army wives on Facebook, it might go a little like this...


Dear Friend,

I hope you are well and that you enjoyed your Anzac Day. I see you have posted some photos from your day on your profile. I didn't know it was possible to walk in a dress that short. Perhaps you left the night club late and didn't have time to go home and change before the dawn service? At least a dress that low cut would have made breastfeeding your baby easier.


Speaking of children, for the love God, please stop asking me to vote for your child's photo in whatever competition you have them in this week. I hate to break it to you, but you are the only person who thinks they are cute - everyone else thinks they look like the love child of Shrek and Chewbacca.


While we are on the topic of photos, how's your new career coming along? Who knew that owning an expensive camera and having access to Photoshop made you a photographer? I see you have made a website and a price list and everything. So professional. But seriously, how are you convincing people to pay you money to take their photo??


Well I better keep this short. I know from your frequent posts in groups that you have an extremely busy, drama-filled life. (Please, please stop whining about everything!)

From Your Fellow Army Wife


I guess until I can track down all the home addresses of people who annoy me, I will just have to vent away here on my little blog.

Until next time,

C.

Mild-mannered lady by day, Facebook Superbitch by night!

You often see the same names over and over in the many Defence related Facebook groups. You interact with these same names frequently (depending on the level of your Facebook addiction lol). You know their husband's name and how many kids they have. You know all about their latest argument with their mother-in-law. But I wonder how many of these Facebook personas match up to their real lives?

There seems to be a lot of people who like claim that they aren't afraid to 'tell it how is is' and describe themselves as being 'straight up' with everyone. They are happy to disagree with someone elses opinion and even attack others for this difference. While I applaud anyone who will stand up for themselves and is not afraid to voice a difference of opinion, I have a theory that a lot of these women who are brave and bold on Facebook are quite the opposite in real life. Time after time I see arguments taking place in groups and I know for a fact that what some people are happy to type online, is far from what they would say if they were face to face. There are 2 things that bother me about this. #1.Nothing good can come from creating a fake online personality. #2. I am the first person to tell someone to harden up and not be a sooky-la-la because 'someone was mean to you on the internet'. But it does annoy me when someone is quite happy to hurl an insult via a Facebook comment but wouldn't have the balls to say it in person.

In light of the above, there are just a couple of women who I actually hope are 'faking it' on Facebook, because if they are as big of a bitch in real life, then all I can say is ... wow.

Look how clever I am! I worked out how to add pictures lol :-P

Until next time,

C.

A vent a day, keeps divorce away...?

I am willing to bet that most of you have been frustrated with your husband/partner for at least a moment or 2 today. Some of you have probably had a big argument over him not using the right setting on the washing machine or over whose turn it was to change bub's poopy nappy. A few of you might have had screaming matches and some may have just given him the silent treatment. Whatever it was, you are not alone.

No matter how much you love your man, there are always going to be times when you just want to kick his lazy butt! But this doesn't make you any less of a wife/partner - it just makes you real. I am not going to lie - there have been times when I have looked forward to my husband going out bush. But I still always miss him and am happy to have him back (and he probably looks forward to getting away from me!). Sometimes, the best thing we can do is to let out our frustration to someone else. And on occasions, the only avenue we have to do that is through Facebook. Now I agree that there is a difference between having a harmless vent and airing your dirty laundry and I think that as a general rule, most women I know abide by that. I know so many of us feel better after being able to let it out. I was once watching an interview with one of my favourite musicians. He said that he always gets asked why his songs sound so sad, angry and depressing. His answer was that when he was down or had a problem, his way of dealing with it was to let it out through song. If he was happy, he went out and enjoyed being happy and he didn't want to waste that time by writing about it. His angry songs didn't mean he was an angry person, just has having a vent about your husband/partner doesn't necessarily mean you have a troubled relationship. I think that if there is anyone out there that thinks their relationship is perfect and doesn't have anything to vent about, then they are only lying to themselves. I don't envy them for their so called 'perfect relationship', I just feel sorry for them.

Ugh. I better go an clean up what whatever mess my husband has made while I was writing this!

Until next time,

C.

Generation Whine

You know you are getting old when you find yourself saying things like “back when I first became an army wife there was no Facebook so I had to make friends at new postings the old fashioned way” or “back in my day…blah blah blah”. I wonder if once you reach a certain age, there is a part of your brain that suddenly springs to life, giving you an instant disdain for the younger generation.  When I used to listen to older people complain “young people today have it so good blah blah...” I used to think it was an angry and bitter trait to have. But now, as I have (sometimes) started to think in a similar way, I think of it as more of a super power :-P  Or sort of like a sixth sense – making you able to point out everything that is wrong with this latest generation.

I can’t really say that I have a problem with all of Generation Y. I was born in the early 80’s so I am actually a part of it! My issues are mainly with the younger Gen Y’ers. One of the things that annoys me the most is that they seem to have really high expectations. With everything. I see this most often in complaints from fresh army wives complaining about the standards of DHA housing. So I know that there are still a few of the old houses around and everyone has had their turn at living in at least one shoebox sized house, but some of the complaints I see and hear astound me. Like complaining about the colour of the kitchen, or that the main bedroom is too far away from the other bedrooms, and my personal favourite – the lack of airconditioning. I have heard every excuse in the book for why someone thinks they need to have airconditioning installed. The most commonly used excuse – “oh but we have a baby and he/she can’t sleep without aircon”. I’m sorry lady, but babies around the world have been surviving just fine without aircon for thousands of years!

It concerns me that some of these Gen Y’ers think that they are above the ‘rules’. Either that or some of them are just plain stupid. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realise that there is certain information about our partner’s jobs that cannot be shared with the public i.e. on Facebook. Unfortunately there are some people who will still post countdowns til their partner is home from deployment and post pictures of parcels they are sending overseas with the serving member’s PMKeys number etc all clearly visible (yes, that really did happen!!). No matter how many times they are warned, they still do it. A lot of these women are the same people who threaten to ‘go to the police’ or ‘report you to Defence’ for something they’ve deemed offensive to them on Facebook. Do they seriously believe that the police, Defence or a lawyer is going to be able to do anything about ‘someone being mean to me on Facebook’??? What is wrong with these women????

Not only are these Gen Y’ers overly whiney, but they are also overly sensitive and are always wanting someone to pat them on the back and say “there, there, everything will be ok” when really someone should be telling them to just harden the f*** up!

Well that is enough dribble for one evening. I’ve got to get my old wrinkly butt to bed. It’s way past my bedtime :-P

Until next time,

 
C.

**REVISED EDITION** Things Facebook has taught me about Army Wives

Hopefully if you are a regular reader of my blog (hi Mum!) you will have seen one of my first posts which was about the types of army wives on Facebook. Due to popular demand Because I have been procrastinating when i should have been doing more important things, I have decided to do a 'revised edition' of my types of army wives on Facebook list. I have included the original list for those of you who are like me and have bad memories and also for those newbies who also like me, are too lazy to scroll back through my old posts to find it.

The Debater

This wife is never far from an argument and will debate any topic.

The Overly Sensitive

Take offense to even the most tame of comments. Their Messages folder most likely is full of complaints they have sent to group administrators.

The 5 Second Army Wife

This wife has been living this lifestyle for less than 12 months and love to tell anyone who will listen that they are an Army Wife. Whether their partner has just joined up, or they have just hooked up with an already serving member, the 5 Second Army Wife can fall into 1 of 2 sub-categories:

The Totally Clueless - has trouble comprehending simple army processes and their ignorance often leads them to spout pearls of wisdom like "the army sucks" and "they are being unfair with our defacto application".

The 5 second going on 5 year wife -  they think they already know everything about being an Army Wife and are often known to dish out advice to others on topics they know nothing about.

The Passive Aggressive

This wife won't participate in debates by commenting but rather just by 'liking' other people's comments.

The Power Tripping Admin

Known for their fondness for the delete button. Views their role to be of the highest importance most likely because they are lacking same in real life.

The Look at Me

This wife is always posting about some sort of drama in her life, usually just to get some attention.

The TMI (too much information)

Guilty of giving out too much information on a range of topics from their sex life / relationships to their health issues.

The Jackpot

This is a wife who falls into 3 or more of the above categories. You know you should just ignore her but she is like a car crash - you can't help but watch!

The Golden Oldie

Like the name suggests, this wife belongs to the older generation of army wives. She usually likes to precede any post with something like "back in my day" or I'm an army bride of 25 years so..."

The Army Brat Turned Army Wife

Pretty self-explanatory. Sometimes a bit similar to the Golden Oldie in that they like to precede any post or comment with a declaration of how long they were an army brat.

The Block-a-holic

This wife will Block anyone who offends her or disagrees with her. If you don't think you know any Block-a-holics, it is probably because they have already blocked you!

The Opsec Nazi

See this blog post by a friend of mine. She explains it all brilliantly!

The Housing Hater

Recognisable by their constant complaints about their issues with DHA and the 'awful' house they are 'forced' live in. (Get excited readers, I am dedicating a whole blog post to this type of wife in the near future.)

The Negative Nancy

This type of wife often asks for advice but always shoots down any response given to her. If anyone shares a problem, you can guarantee that a Negative Nancy will argue that her problem is worse.

Comment below or on my Facebook page if you think there is any other types missing from my list!

Until next time,

C.

Where did we come from?

I was having coffee with a friend today and we got to talking about the label of “army wife”. We both agreed that while there have always been women married / partnered to men in the army, the label of army wife has really only become a common part of our vocabulary in the last few years.

It wasn’t until the 2^nd posting with my husband that I first heard the term army wife. It was the first day of a new job and as I was chatting with my new colleagues I was asked if I had made any “army wife” friends. I remember needing to take a few seconds to comprehend the question (yes, I am blonde ;-p) because I had never heard anyone called that. Nowadays, there are people who introduce themselves as an army wife before they even say their own name!! And don’t get me started on the women who call themselves an army wife before their husbands have even finished Kapooka! LOL

In all serious, I am interested to know how, when and why it became so popular. Is it another thing we can blame on the Gen Y generation? Or is it society in general that likes labels? Or is it simply because we are all addicted to the TV show ‘Army Wives’? (And before I get any hate mail from the Gen Y’ers – I’m still in my 20’s and as much as I sometimes hate to admit it, I’m apart of Generation Y too!)

So please let me know your thoughts either by commenting below or by clicking here to leave a comment on my Facebook page. I’m really interested to hear what you all think!!

Until next time,

C.

You've got a friend in me

Well it has been a while since my last post. I have been busy having somewhat of a social life which is a nice change from just being busy with housework!

We are now pretty much settled into our new location and I am making some great friends. I love finally getting to meet people that I have previously only been 'Facebook friends' with. It has got me thinking about how we choose the people to form friendships with. I have a few army wife friends that I love to pieces but to be quite honest, if our husbands had different jobs and we had met in different circumstances, I doubt whether we would have become friends. It's amazing how 2 people can have nothing in common except for the fact that their husbands are both in the army and yet can form such a close friendship! This also makes me feel a little guilty. Have I missed out on some great friendships because I have been shallow or because I have judged someone without getting to know them?

So I know it is a bit late for New Years Resolutions but I'm going to make one any way. I am going to try my best to be less judgmental and be open to making friends outside my usual 'type'.

So look out ladies, I'm coming for your friendship!! And to my current army wife friends - love ya guts bitches!

Until next time,

C.

You must be this crazy to enter

I have often wondered what would happen if defence spouses had to pass a psychological evaluation in order to be recognised as an official defence spouse. How many of us would pass? One thing I know for certain is that there are a few that would be committed straight away!

Now I do have a few army wife friends who are crazy. But these are the women who are crazy as in fun, spontaneous and with a wicked sense of humour. That is a good crazy. But unfortunately I am beginning to frequently encounter the other type of crazy – the bad crazy. And they are no fun at all. Sure it may be fun to laugh at them, but just get to close because their toxic crazy has been known to spread throughout a whole group of people! I can just imagine psych interviews with bad-crazy defence spouses going like this:

Interviewer: “So do you think you get along with most people?”

Crazy Defence Spouse 1: “Yes I have lots of Facebook friends. But if you have a different opinion to mine I will launch into an incoherent rambling argument with you and then block you. I will then block every other person who may have once had a passing conversation with you.”

Interviewer: “Can you tell me how you would feel about your husband being deployed for a long period of time?”

Crazy Defence Spouse 2: “No, I can’t because then I would be in breach of OPSEC.”

Interviewer: “Well this is just a question about a hypothetical deployment.”

Crazy Defence Spouse 2: “You said deployment. Now Defence is breaching OPSEC. OPSEC. OPSEC!!!”

Interviewer: Do you think you will have enough support for your family while your husband is in the Defence Force?

Crazy Defence Spouse 3:  “Well we have chosen to be non-breeders therefore we will not being having children. I don’t think Defence should have to provide more support to families just because they have chosen to be breeders. We are non-breeders but we know everything there is to know about raising children.”

Interviewer: “Do you think you will be able to handle running a household and making important decisions on your own while your husband is away?”

Crazy Defence Spouse 4: “As long as I have Facebook, I’ll be fine. Like, when we were trying to decide when to have children, I just asked hundreds of strangers on a Facebook group to take a vote on when I should start having kids. Takes all the pressure off!

I think in this lifestyle, it actually helps to have a teeny tiny bit of crazy inside of us. So I really hope they never bring in psych evaluations for spouses – because I think some people would have men in white jackets with huge butterfly nets, pounding on their door :-P

Until next time,

C.